the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
