I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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