1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize