I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
