she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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