This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Its about making memories worth repressing
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
