woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
