FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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