i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
