Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
