it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize