Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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