yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
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