and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
