i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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