Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize