Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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