There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
