Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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