nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
