It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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