U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I think pants incapable of making pants work
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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