her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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