We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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