I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
