It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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