What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
