He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
