If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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