Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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