Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
