Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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