pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Hippo gnu deer
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
