dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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