the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
