hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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