Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
