1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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