I'm gonna have a badass scar
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
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