it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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