just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I can't put those talents on a resume
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
