I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
