have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
