dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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