Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize