this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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