Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
