I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
