i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
