ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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