Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
