Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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