So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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