my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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