susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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