you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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