There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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