Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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