You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
