we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
pray to the hookup gods
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
