all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
