When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
