ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize