just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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