I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
