Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
