This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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