Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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